It’s 9:03pm in Aylmer, Quebec and I have lots of things going on my mind. I must start off saying that this high school experience is something I’m not going miss. I mean I have realized a lot of things. I’ve learned that no matter how much heart and dedication you put into something, you’re always going to get hurt. I know that there’s always going to be someone to lean on. I’ve realized that some friends aren’t worth having and some people care so much about me and I need to value them more. My relationships have grown into strong friendships and it saddens me as high school is coming to an end because after this month, we all separate from each other and some of us may not even see each other again. I’ve learned that in order to succeed I must believe and have confidence in myself. If I look at myself 5 years ago, a little girl, with so many insecurities and imperfections…and I look at myself now. I’ve grown so much and I guess confidence is sexy, I mean I talk to so many people now and I’m not shy to go up to someone and stir up a conversation and I’ve definitely developed relationships with people I never thought I would.
     I spent all high school dating the same person. I don’t regret him but I regret not being able to have the freedom. I regret not leaving when I wasn’t happy because if I think about it now, I’m so much more happy now. I may be lonely but I have to remember to be a strong independent woman but….what’s wrong with being single?
     As well as body image, everybody called me fat, every day of my life. And it got to the point where I was so insecure about it. But who was I to just cry about it? I had to do something about and I did. I’m now smaller then I was 2 years ago. And I feel great. A couple trips to the gym and eating healthy wasn’t that hard of a challenge. And now that I AM thin there are still people that make comments but that’s when I thought to myself: there’s always going to be haters out there. Why try to impress them? You just gotta feel good about yourself.

     As a child I’ve always had this dream to be a professional singer but that isn’t going to happen but it never stopped me from trying. I’ve been singing since I’ve been a child. I’m not amazing but I’ve definitely developed a presentable voice, but I still haven’t got the confidence to use it. Maybe one day.

     I’m definitely a hard worker, maybe I have fell a part a couple times during the year and lost faith in myself but I got back up onto my feet. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” There’s nothing stopping me from being happy, especially not with all the lovely people I work with. I work 2 jobs and I enjoy every moment of getting experience and making money because I don’t let it effect my marks and it feels good to be able to balance everything out. As the youngest employee, all my co-workers watch out for me, and interacting with others is what I enjoy. I have relationships with customers that come often. I’m friendly and very good at what I do. Ever since getting a job, my parents never bother me about being lazy anymore because I’ve saved a load of money for school. Can’t always depend on my parents because one day they aren’t going to be there anymore. And I was always brought up with this mentality. They’ve been there for me, thick and thin, for every mistake I’ve made and every accomplishment and I hope they are proud of me when they see me receive my diploma with my grad gown on. First child.

     I’ve been accepted to heritage and I don’t exactly plan on going anymore. I might have to but my plans were to go back home in Vancouver and pursue health sciences at UBC. My plan was to go into accounting and maybe I will stick to that but my dreams are to do something in health or anything in the medical field - I just never had the confidence to do it.

     Boys boys boys, a gender that is so very difficult to understand but I can say the same for girls especially myself. Nothing is 100% guaranteed. I put my heart and dedication into one relationship and ended up getting played and fucked over. Did I expect it? No. but you know what? I’ve learned that it’s his loss and not mine. I wouldn’t say I’ve moved on but I have accepted the fact but there’s always going to be that one spot in my heart just for him.

     Single life? It’s crazy how desperate the male population is. I can’t count how many males have tried to hook up with me on my two hands. I have yet to hook up with anyone and I don’t intend to. What my ex boyfriend does is not my business anymore. As long as he’s happy with how his life is going, so am I. tt was not how I intended it to be but…I can adapt and here I am. Back into the topic, I have went to parties and yes I have been shitfaced multiple times too. It does make you forget about all the unhappiness in the present life, and keeping control of myself is easy as well. Weed? is not an option for me. It’s crazy how much I’ve grown. But it only happened because of all the chaos, right? Exactly. Everything happens for a reason and I’m a huge believer of this proverb.

     Mr. Randi, you make me smile and cry all at the same time. What you said to me, broke me but….you’re right. “All woman are complicated and it’s a good thing. The more complicated, the better. So if he left, then so be it. It’s his loss. I may not know both of you but I know there are amazing qualities in both of you…he’s missing out, don’t let it bring you down.”

     Mr. Cooper, you don’t do this often at all but giving me a week’s extension was probably the most amazing thing you could have done for me. I thought you were hard-headed and stubborn but you’re so understanding….

     Fellow classmates of 2012, you are all so damn amazing. I haven’t had enough time with you all, and I hope we will see each other in the future super soon.

     Mom & Dad, thank you………….all my love goes towards you.

     Grace, Jenna, Becky, Charles, Richard, Ken, Leigh-Anne, Sam, Tyler, Isabelle, Yashar, Ali, Abby, Vannessa, Teresa, Cameron, Manny etc etc. Thank you for being there for me during my phase of depression. Dw I’m okay now.

     Alex, you were a special one, thank you for making the last 2 years the best for me. I don’t regret a single thing. One chapter ended is just the beginning of another. Hope all is well for you. Hope the family is well and I miss them dearly. Promises mad, promises broken. There’s no words to describe how I feel for you. I wouldn’t say I’m inlove you anymore but you’re still there. I’m sorry for all and all the things that I have I’ve done to have had to conclude to this. The future has loads to hold. Good luck. I’m very hesitant to say my goodbyes to you and maybe I won’t and if I don’t - I apologize in advanced.
“Moving on isn’t about not loving someone anymore and forgetting them. It’s about having the strength to say “I still love you, but you’re not worth this pain.”

    High school is where I met my true friends, met my first love, got my confidence, etc etc etc. With all the good there are bads as well. All the tears and drama will not be missed. I still have to find myself and accomplish a lot of things. The path is straight a head, there are no short cuts and there are going to be several obstacles in my way and I will find my way through them, it may be difficult but I will accomplish my dreams and goals. Determination, it’s all it takes. Dedication.

life is too short, grudges are a waste of perfect happiness
laugh when you can – apologize when you should
and let go of what you can’t change. love deeply and forgive quickly
take chances – give everything – have no regrets
life is too short to be unhappy you have to take the good with the bad
smile when you’re sad – love what you got
and always remember what you had always forgive but never forget
learn from your mistakes but never regret people change & things go wrong
but always remember life goes on.